Confession

I got to admit I am feeling weird here, perhaps I got mentally sick.

I have this problem of being NUMB to certain stuff nowadays. For example, the CNY festival. Actually I don't feel the atmosphere at all. It ain't the same feeling as the ones I had for the past 19 years (maybe 12 since I am kind of a blur until I attend primary school). I have no urge of going to someone's house for visits, nor do I have the urge to collect angpows unless someone's actually offering it on the spot. I even lost my appetite, and sometimes I skipped meals.

Maybe I got lazy ? Or perhaps a different environment has affected me since my parents went overseas and I didn't return to Muar for CNY ? I think it might be the combination of both.

I start to feel a bit... anti-social, a bit not like feeling to meet with people. I got this sick feeling that I just got kinda fed up of mankind, or more specific, this society. I dislike what most people like in common, espacially those "hot" material stuff or issues. I don't know why but those things start to make me puke.

Well, I think I'm a bit disaligned with myself now, because I've started to write such negative things in my post in the CNY festival. I think I should check what's wrong with me again, for the N-th time.