I'm a Cube...

Yes, I ended up as this...

Take the quiz at dicepool.com

Kinda describes me >.<

La Finale

"We bring you the latest news update. 2 people were killed in a traffic accident that occured at..." - crack -

Finally, he woke up, the squeaking radio disturbing his long slumber. The pain in his head stung like a needle that drives through him mercilessly. Adding to it, the afternoon sun penetrated through the dirty windows with the badly-torn curtains, through the dusty air - and into his eyes. Took him a minute or two before he could see anything clearly.

He didn't know how long he had slept, all he remembered was he kept drinking until he lost his consciousness. He didn't even remember his dreams, but he felt dried tears on his cheeks.

Who cares now anyway ? He walked to the washroom, and through the broken mirror he saw the once-brilliant young man, a young chap who had hope and a bright future, and now, he looked no different than someone who lived in the slums. Unshaven for days, uncombed hair, and weary eyes.

Aye, he was ruined. Jealousy, from the people who disliked what he has achieved, and set him up to destroy him. Ignorance, of his ex-employer, who used to look up upon his talents, but now resembles nothing more than a fool, easily-deceived and settled matters according to his emotions.

WHY ? WHY ?!

What did he do to deserve this, this kind of TREATMENT?

Not only did he lost his career, but also his car, house, all his money, and the one he treasured the most - his fiancee, who left him even though he pleaded to her desperately.

FRAMED !!!

The whole thing was a set-up ! That night, that TREACHEROUS night, his colleagues held a party celebrating his promotion. Never did he knew it was part of the darkest plot that was going to overthrow him. He didn't suspect the presence of his employer's young beautiful wife that night, thinking that she'd like to join the fun. Neither was he aware that the drink he had has been spiked by unseen hands. The next thing he knew, he awoke on the bed, next to the woman that he wasn't supposed to touch...

Words spread quickly like the fire in the dry bushes. That very same day, he lost his job, his fiancee, and almost all the things he owned - no, most of it had been placed under her name a week ago before THAT happened...

There's nothing left for him now. There's nothing else he can do now. He was RUINED. RUINED. RUINED...

This will be the last day in the shabby apartment he had rented, for now that tiny amount of money he had had been spent. He could have stayed on for maybe a month with that amount, but he decided not to. Instead, he bought something else...

Some alcohol to drink out his sorrows, a roll of adhesive tape, a box of matches, some rope, and a knife. But most of the money went to the package of industry-strength trinitrotoluene - enough to take out a small building.

He started to assemble them, using his limited knowledge of making fireworks - when he was young, he adored fireworks and often made them for the fun of it, and of course, was punished most of the time by his late mother.

He had no father - he only knew his mother used to be in love with a wretch who ran away with his mistress. Despite that, she managed to raise her only son, singlehanded, until he graduated from university. But for that, she paid the toll for it - cancer took her life away, the day he was about to tell her that he got his first job.

WHY ? WHY WAS IT UNFAIR ?!

The moment he snapped back to reality, cheeks wet, he had completed his final masterpiece. A beauty. A beauty that robs others for their beauty. And THAT, will be his final vengeance.

He dried his face and strapped the device onto his body, and covering it up with a jacket. Then, he took the last swig from his bottle, and walked out of that shabby place, with the radio playing some heavy metal music.

An hour later, the radio cracked and the music was interrupted.

"We interrupt to bring you the latest news. About half an hour ago, an explosion caused by a suicide bomber occured in the XX Towers... " - crack - " ... it was believed that this is not an organized attack..." - the radio fell dead.

Silence.

Mmhm... Mmhm...

Tuesday.

Wasn't feeling like going to campus after my 15-hour slumber (RARE), but Slade kinda dragged me there to listen to some UK dude from Sheffield giving a talk (I heard that he's gonna start a Games Design course in his headquarters soon).

Got to E-Gallery late (1st time there anyway). Seated myself at the rear row beside a lady lecturer which I've never knew before. Everything was going fine until... she starts to "Mmhm... Mmhm..." all the way. For every sentence that guy has spoken, there'll be 2 or 3 "Mmhm" 's from her. Even no-wing, who sat next to me on the other side, gave me the 'glance' that showed his annoyance to her "Mmhm" 's as well.

What a 'great' lecturer. At least she had the both of us 'entertained' while the guy was 'boredom-talking' in front.

Uh-huhuh...

Oh gosh, what an eyesore to the sight of my eyes...

I mean, the grammar typos I can find around me nowadays...



(1) Found on one of the multiple-choice questions in one of my mid-term papers, supposingly...

'Phase Shift Keying'

...but somehow the person who's behind the paper preparations left out the 'f' in the word 'Shift'...



(2) Found on the gates of one of the restricted areas near campus (and my place too...). Reads...

'
No
Admittance
Authorized
Personnel
Only
'

Uh... I wonder if it meant that authorized personnel should keep away ?



(3) The worse of all. Found at the entrance of one of the toilets in KL Sentral. It reads...

'Beware Of Your Belongings'

Wow. It sounds a lot like my luggage might turn alive and will attempt to bite my butt off.



Welcome to Malaysia...

Typing Trash All The Way For This Week

This starts to drive me crazy.

I mean, the way I'm floating in my life. Imagine I'm the cloud, with the wind driving me anyway it likes.

I hate that feeling, you know. Unable to hold to the reins of my own life. But in the same time, I'm comfortable with THAT feeling, and the dilemma is killing me.

With 2 weeks without blogging, and the feeling's kind of unnatural. I can'r say that I'm without Internet access, because I've stationed my PC in John's house. Environment? Probably. His room was kinda stuffy and hot. Maybe I should find a better environment to solve this problem, or perhaps, fight for the Internet access for my place ASAP.

Not only uninspired, but my senses were dulled. My knifing skills in Dispatch Of Army were rotting, not to mention the bad temper I always get when dealing with scum who doesn't know how to read the room title's that read "KNIFE-ONLY". Speaking of temper, I was emotionally affected recently. Gah, I better vent these off before I hit the headlines in the latest suicide attempt.

Oh yeah, my parents got a new Toyota Innova, and it seems that the sale of the old Wira was aborted because the buyer couldn't afford the loan. Maybe I should ask Mum whether I can take it or not ? :D

High's & Low's Of My Life

My blog has become something like a weekly post now (no Internet access at Cyberia T_T), but better than NOT posting at all.

Last week's another busy one, big events, recruitments for high committees for clubs and the usual 'rituals', classes that's much more effective than lullabies, assignments that sucked life out of us, and as for me and maybe another couple of unlucky guys out there - total isolation from the world.

It was last Thursday that nearly killed me; all of a sudden, I felt that my life totally sucks. Nothing interesting, nothing appealing. 3 classes that day, 2-4pm, 4-6pm and 6-7pm, but I went off in the middle of the 2nd class and totally skipped the last.

The moment I got off, boredom came in like an overwhelming tide. Damn. Maybe it's because of all the excitement from I-Wesak Night the previous night. Being busy, working so hard to help out so the event can be successful, and most of all - I get to meet with various people and talk to them. Sounds weird, right? But that's what this university lacks of - interaction between students. At least this event serves as a platform where most of us can be together and express ourselves. But well, event's still an event, and the thing is that every event will eventually end, as there's impermanence in everything.

After dinner with a couple of friends that Thursday, I went back to my apartment and lied on my bed, feeling bad, with the speakers of my PC playing "Wo Li Kai" (I'm Leaving) from Tarcy Su. Then I slept and woke up at 11pm, after 2 hours of sleep. Then I spent the rest of the twilight hours in reading and slacking around.

I decided, after the first class that ends at Friday noon, that I'll be following a couple of pals to Subang Jaya, skipping the 4pm class that day. At least, I was back in control of my life again. After an enjoyable lunch in one of the Chinese food store in SJ, my 2 pals went for a MtG session in a specialist store while I settled myself in a cafe nearby, slaying people in the knife-only room in the online FPS, Dispatch of Army. At 5pm, we bought our take-away dinners, and headed back to Cyberia, and went for a swim in the swimming pool at my apartment area, with another couple of guys. After that, dinner and I headed off to the D&D session that night. At least this day replaced Thursday's doom-like boredom.

Come to think of it, maybe it's time I schedule myself for something this Thursday. Don't want the boredom to repeat itself again though. Well until then, let me stop here for today =P

I'm Not The Waiter, Dammit !

Last night I attended a dinner in my ex-primary school. As the attendaance was more than 4k, the waiting crew were too busy to pay much attention in their service.

(1) A dirty cup. Well, it's not the typical dirty cup you'll normally get to see, stain marks or grease. Instead, there was a dead leech-like organism in it (I'm not sure what is it anyway, but it does look like a leech. Yuck...), covered in layers of dust. And it was too late when we discovered it, as my baby cousin drank from that cup, and we all thought that was a Chinese Tea leaf.

(2) As I mentioned above, the waiters were too busy to pay attention on the customer's needs. None of them came to refill out the tea flasks and the ice buckets, so me and my sis volunteered to go and get it ourselves for 3 tables.

On the way there, the people on the other tables, who were sharing the same problems and frustrated as well, saw the both of us carrying the flask and buckets, and they thought the both of us were serving and threw their pathetically bad temper at us. Rude sounds like "Hey" & "Hoi" were heard among the places where we passed by.

Damn, if I have to explain to everyone that we're not waiters, I'd die of thirst. So we ignored those clowns and charged through, with the thought of "Haha, you losers ! Get them yourself, lazybummers !"

When we reached there, we got our stuff thanks to the directions from the dishwashers (strange, right?), and rushed back to our tables, going through another round of "Hey" 's & "Hoi" 's.

P/S To Waiter from Waiter Rant, if you're reading this, of course... You'd puke blood the moment you see those bunch of undeserving morons. I wonder what acts will you pull when you serve them, Heheheh...

Network Marketing = Spider Web Luring Flies

Heck, this world of mine is going haywire. Espacially with the fact that some friends act more like spambots rather than humans.

It's like mushrooms after the rain - suddenly most of the kids I used to know are involved in network marketing, or maybe in their minds, money-making business. People whom I used to know back in middle school (heck, I've lost contact with most of them for a long time) pops out from nowhere, and they managed to dish out my phone number in amazing ways. Then they will invite me out for some coffee, and in the middle of some conversation they will bring out a file containing a whole load of crap, and thus their one-vs-one presentation commences - which most of the time I'm dreaming my time away instead of listening.

This is growing into an unhealthy trend. In the university which I'm attending, a lot of people are participating -and perhaps fighting each other for competition - in this 'business'. People whom I called friends are now people who are ordered by some-unknown-hand to use their own friends as their source of income. No, not their income, but the some-unknown-hand's income. Dammit.

Money drives people nuts. Or rather, people drives themselves nuts with money. The desire of wealth has turned many people into something that's inhuman at all. And that's the price to be paid for Greed, something like a contract with the Devil.

A few weeks ago, I saw this on the headlines of some paper : "Middleschooler involving in network marketing owes debts." Is this supposed to happen to a kid who's supposed to enjoy his/her teens ? Who's responsible for pulling that poor fellow into this mess ? I'd say nobody will. Because that damned fellow who set up the organization and started the whole thing, who took all the credits of being the founder and who took MOST of the profits from his/her victims (including my friends), will only KEEP QUIET AND REMAIN SILENT about this unfortunate event. And I'm not joking about this.

That's why I vowed to myself not to participate any of those, despite how TEMPTING the profits are, as described by my friends. The game of trust is nothing more than a gamble, and you lose more than you will gain in gambling.

Oh by the way...

Friend wanted me to print & deliver a couple of letters to a Buddhist organization. He sent me the letters via e-mail, but I didn't dare to read through it.

Why? Because I want to keep away from picking the grammar mistakes inside the letter. With one eye closed I printed out the letter and am now preparing to send out the letter.

Mum, who was just aside and took a short glance into the letter, commented :"Huh, Uni student's level of English."

......

Jackass

Nosy people are annoying; noisy people, maybe not that bad.

But combine these two into one person, and you'll maximise the effect of annoyance.

Was helping Mum cleaning up after dinner that day. I was cleaning the tablecloth with a bound-to-explode stomach, and due to that much of inefficiency I was being labelled by Mum as "worse than a girl". (Yikes)

Then, exactly after one second, we heard someone laughing behind our house and we fell silent, surprised. Apparently, one of the ladies working in the signboard-making company behind our house overheard our conversation. And she had a 'good' reputation of laughing resembling a jackass (well, wanna put in hyena but I decided to be honest here.)

Lesson learnt here: Eavesdropping is already rude enough, but laughing at what you're eavesdropping ON THE SPOT makes you a jerk.

Driving License Drives You Crazy Instead - Finale

Oh blast where was I? Oh yeah, the final one...

Went there with another candidate (a girl now in Form 6), and we ended up chatting for the whole day while waiting. Uh wait, that's not only that :(

Anyway, both of us were in different groups, and it appears that my group was called out first to perform the parking +++ test. The moment I was in the queue, I felt like I was in Heaven. Imagine, 6 Chinese girls in front, and 5 girls behind (though most are Malay, the prettiest Chinese girl was among them) I guess Lady Luck smiled on me, though I don't believe in luck anymore.

Anyway, I passed the test well, then proceeded to wait for the on-road test. And dammit, I've waited till lunch break, then the Muslims have to go for their prayers (it was Friday) and well, I went for lunch with the girl and her friend which coincidently was taking the test too.

Well, life have never been that sweet. For that few moments I felt like a jerkass that deserved to be with the opposite gender.

Anyway, after lunch, it wasn't long before we were called to hit the roads. The girl was first, and five minutes later she was driven back by her instructor to the center. She was quite unhappy about it, and her friend and I spent a couple of hours trying to get her out of it.

Then, it was my turn. For the first few moments, I had problems with the clutch and that instructor told me to turn back (dammit), but I pretended that I couldn't get what he said, and that fellow shut his mouth up because the problem was fixed and he couldn't say anything about it. And well, I passed the remaining stuff without failure, and it's a Pass.

Then it was the girl's friend's turn, and she too was unlucky, only this time she was instructed to drive back instead of being driven back.

Actually I didn't feel good about passing it. Mum had arranged some undercounter process for that. But all of us had concluded that, it's still best to get it pass with paying that rather than going for repeats, which literally will cost more than that. It wasn't nice, but there's no choice for that :(

The girl was still depressed, and I treated her a drink to cheer her up.I did that for the sake of myself too, because I wasn't in a good mood for the 'dirty' Pass.

Ah damn it, to hell with those corrupted systems !

Codename:Lazy

I'm getting lazy to post nowadays. Thanks to fatigue from the accounting stuff and the driving test.

I will post what happened during my driving test tomorrow, but I doubt that, since Elder Sis is going to hog at my comp for Maple Story.

Driving License Drives You Crazy Instead - Part 5

Yeah, I sort of 'vowed' to myself that I will not be writing until the 16-hour driving lessons are complete. Stupid oath, because it's just an excuse for me not to write =P

Anyway, let's look back at what happened during the whole week of driving practice.

Day 1, May 11th, 2 pm - 5 pm

Well, the instructor (let's call him Mech, since I have no idea what his name is and also he gave me an impression of a mechanic instead of an instructor) came to my house more than 1 hour late, and it turned out that Mech have to drop someone before he can fetch me. Then, without wasting time, we drove off to the famous Kelana Jaya Training Center (it's been there for years, I can't even remember when it was there in the 1st place).

Mech taught me about how to make the car move by releasing the clutch a little, and then he made me practice changing between the 1st gear and the reverse gear. Then he had me doing it alone while he went somewhere (I don't know where, but I reckoned he went for a pee or coffee or something)

After some time, he returned and had me making rounds within the tracks, which includes bypassing the slope without stopping, and well, the day went through pretty well easily.


Day 2, May 12th, 10 am - 2 pm

Mech improved by coming 40 minutes late. He taught me about the slope - it's Hell if you have a terrible sense of timing. It took me a few tries, retries and embarassingly, dead engines before I finally caught the right timing and the techniques to perform it perfectly. I found myself having trouble with the clutch, a nightmare that's scary enough to drive people into using auto transmission instead. But well, I was happy that I managed to force myself to do it right =D. Only thing that pissed me off was that some noob students from the nearby secondary decided to jaywalk at the slope area, which made me nervous of their existence. They never consider the chances that they could have been robbed of their lives under the hands of a road newbie. Idiots.

(Oh, did I tell you that, for the 4 long hours, Mech slept in the car for 3 with me driving the car like a timebomb that will explode anytime?)

Anyway, when it's time to go home, Mech did something I bet he'd do the same to the other students - forcing his student to drive back home. He had me cruising on the LDP, take the exit near Western Digital to the road that leads to my house, and in between there are a couple of turns and twists.

Day 3, May 13th, 2 pm - 6 pm

If the last 2 days were easy, this day easily fits the description of HELL. Mech had me going for side-parking practices, and I practiced it all alone that afternoon, sweating to the heat with the car at the brink of overheating. Mech managed to return before I exploded, and he had me going for a try for the 3-point turn, and then the slope. Then he had me going for rounds in side-parking - 3-point turn - slope sequence.

As a result or too much steeering, my arms and fingers felt like they do not belong to me anymore. But luckily Mech permitted me to have a break before he left for his coffee break, and I pulled the car to the side for some rest and get my hands washed, before continuing the same thing over and over again for the last 2 hours.

Mech made me drive back home again. I was lucky my hands were still functioning, despite it suffers the same pain in conjunction with my waist, legs and feet.

Day 4, May 14th, 11 pm - 1 pm

Today came as a surprise for me. The white Kancil came in punctually, and me, dumbstruck while holding my lunch box, hurried out to find that a lady I haven't met before was there waiting for me. At first I thought there was some mistake, but the lady said that she actually came for me. Then, the next thing I knew, the lady let me drive all the way to Section 17, with Mum and Sis Jr. watching me driving away from home =_=".

After a few traffic lights, a roundabout, lots of turns and loads of yelling by the lady, we safely arrived to the place where my L license was to be collected. After that, I drove back to PJ via LDP, and out from the Western Digital exit, and once again the lady wanted me to drive through another round to Section 17 and back again (whoa~), and later we proceed to the KJ training center and I had a 'revision' on the 3 events before returning home.

(Later I found out that she's Judy's mother...)

Day 5, May 15th, 2 pm - 7 pm or longer

This came as a BIGGER surprise; 12:30pm Judy's Mum called, saying that the instructor that's supposed to fetch me had met up with a fire accident, so the lessons were postponed to the next day, 10 am. How fateful.

Day 4, May 16th, 10 am - 7 pm

Judy's Mum was punctual as usual, and she let me drive again - this time, all the way to Puchong. Apparently she have a couple of students to pick up, and I'm supposed to be fetched by Judy but she was busy, so her Mum came instead.

The journey was nice; highways are actually easy because they are broad and there's some space for errors. Anyway, she took over when we reached the 1st student's house (Indian lady, married), and then after fetching the 2nd student (Peter, Chinese kid, 2 years younger than me)we were on our way to Hulu Langat, where out test venue was located.

On the way Judy's Mum briefed through some stuff tips about driving and the driving test, and once we reached there, we found ourselves doing the things we have practiced for the past few days. Then, the Indian lady and me took the trial test (Peter couldn't go for it that soon because he accidently left his IC and L license at home; it was later brought to him by Judy), and we managed to pass it properly. Then later on, we were tutored one by one by Judy's Mum for the on-the-road test.

That wasn't an easy thing to do; it involves a lot of stopping and handbraking, even though most of the time it sounds annoying to have to handbrake behind the barely visible white lines.

Anyway, the both of us got through that with another load of yellings from Judy's Mum, and later it was Peter's turn to do that, after he got through the trail test, of course. Because of that, all of us went back 3 hours late from scheduled.

I reached home at around 7pm, and boy, the 16 hours are over, and what I need too do now is to memorize all the steps and simulate the situations whenever possible to enhance my skills for the upcoming real test at Friday, 8am.

Time & It's Tale

Went back to Muar, Johor this Saturday, to celebrate Mother's Day with Grandma (Dad's Ma, that is) . Left at 4pm. Can't remember much about the journey except telling Mum about the geodesic dome on top of the hill nearby the KLIA PLUS exit, then next thing I knew, we were already in Muar City.

Yes, Muar, Bandar Maharani, the City of the Empress, once the place that nearly got the chance to be the spot for hosting one of the greatest empires in Malay history, but the founder Parameswara has his eyes on Malacca instead.

The moment my eyes opened, the scenary of streets, cars and people filled in. It's always good to see such a lively scene, much more alive than a modern city like Kuala Lumpur, at least.

Streets that are crowded with slow-moving traffic, people walking around the place, motorcycles, bicycles, and old shophouses with zinc roofs and pillars with Chinese signboards on it. Ah... what a sight.

Since we reached Muar earlier than we expected, the 5 of us went to a coffee shop to get some drinks. The coffee shop was splendid; a corner lot, interiors decorated simply with a mirror and a glass rack filled with medals and trophies, with a nice view of the traffic of cars and people, resembling the Chinese version of a sidewalk cafe. The customers in the shop, guys who sat alone drinking, were trying to kill time by watching the flow moving around.

Dad & Mum ordered coffee while my Younger Sis and Bro had barley, and I got myself a nice cup of tea. I observed the paintwork on one of the walls of the shophouses at the opposite - for a shophouse that has stood for at least forty years, it was painted with cyan to make it look new; yet the rough surface beneath tells another story - a story about what it has witnessed during it's younger times.

"Since when", Mum suddenly asked, "was the last time we had evening tea?"

"Well, we're too busy with our lives for evening tea." I replied.

She smiled. "Yeah, try to think what we normally do at this time, 6:30 in the evening. We're working..."

"Or either," I interrupted, "we're stuck in the jam right now." All of us laughed.

Yeah, it's no longer the age where people still have the time to breath anymore. Everything has changed - and nothing changes except for Change itself...

Anyway, we didn't stay for long, as Time doesn't permit a pause in it's journey. We finished off our drinks, and proceeded to the car and moved on to the restaurant where we're supposed to have dinner with Grandma and the rest of our relatives.

Thoughts...

Went to the Chinese Medicinal Hall to buy some herbs. Mum dropped me there while she went to look for somewhere to park her car, and she gave me a list of the herbs so the shopkeeper could refer to what she wants.

While I was there, I found myself standing next to an elderly lady, quite old, maybe near 70. Her back was slightly crooked, and wrinkles are everywhere around her, but well she was quite energetic. Her voice was strong while she reminded one of the shopkeepers about the special price quoted by the boss, and when she finally leave, her pace was fast despite her disadvantage of her body structure. I found myself struck with awe.

For that moment, I thought about my Grandma who stays in Muar, Johor. She was still energetic and could walk around freely and chat with the neighbours, before the accident occured during the end of 2003. She felled off the staircase, and as a result her arm was broken and the back of her head was severed due to the impact on the ground. As a result she was sent to the ICU, and she suffered from a certain level of amnesia that, she could remember old stuff but the newer memories were forgotten.

She had 5 daughters and 6 sons (including my Dad), but there was a cold war between them, and it too affects the priorities about the care needed by Grandma. It took quite a while before everything was *almost* restored to order. "11 children wasn't quite an easy task to raise", I thought, "yet Grandma ended up like this."

I thought back about myself too. Have I ever cared about Dad & Mum too? Not most of the time. So later on, I fetched Mum a cup of warm water to wash down the saltiness caused by our noodles for dinner, without her asking to do so.

Well, it's still not enough though. But I'll try my best again.

The Struggle of One

For countless years I fought a war
Against an enemy unknown, unfamiliar to me
I know I have to fight
But I don't exactly know why

And the more I tried to understand
To strike with all my strength
To bring down the enemy
In return, I won nothing but mere frustration

Yet I did not stop; something within me
Drives me whenever I fall
Whips me, kicks me like a beast
That deserves punishment upon any rest I have

And the cycle goes on and on
Without a moment to pause
Not even giving a break when I sleep
Returning in the form of nightmares to haunt me

Aye, when I looked back into the years
that passed behind me and turned into the past
Tides of turmoils is what I see
And I was tired, yet I couldn't stop

I have to be grateful
For all the hardship, all the pain
Had shaped me into something
That, right now, stands in my shoes

Then it occured; within gratitude
I experienced something bitter - regrets
Mistakes I did, Chances that slipped
All like smooth silk which my hand couldn't grasp

I saw something within the darkness
And I have no idea what it is
But somehow it was something familiar
And it is part of what my enemy was

Through the dull vision I saw a glimpse of shine
A mirror, surrounded by curtains of whirling smoke
I was confused, my heart ridiculed
Was this what I fought for all these years?

Filled with curiosity, I stepped ahead
With both hands I pulled away the curtain
And surprise there was for me, within it
A reflection, none other than mine

Dumbstruck, I don't know whether to cry
Or to laugh for being the fool I had been
Had known better but had ignored that
No enemy is greater than One's own self

Within my heart, like a dagger strikes
There was pain; pain of the truth
The price to pay for the answers
Yet it has relieved me from my cruel sentence

Like a key to the lock
That for years, binds me with questions
I've begin to understand the reasons
Of the struggle I've been through

Desire, Arrogance, Ignorance
Of denied Truth accepted on surface
Like strings that are tied to my hands and feet
Swaying to the haunting melody on the stage

I sat down, tired and depressed
I had enough, but there's no stop to it
For finally, this neverending War shall break
Both me and my enemy, the moment we cease to breath

Becareful Now...

Weather's getting tricky here, and now more & more of my family members (and friends too) had fallen sick.

Me? Well I've recovered 90% but my mind's troubled nowadays, espacially when it's in May and it's in the holidays and I'm feeling more & more useless. Time to pack up some of my mood now. I need to revive my own old self, before I fall furthur into the Abyss of Doom. And I seek Forgiveness, Will & Courage, which I'm lacking now. And most of the time, I have been lying to my own self, with prayers and false hopes. And I mustn't continue doing so.

Well, as soon as after I get a couple of things sorted out, I'll try my best to make the next step. No matter what or how, I have to face what's in front of me, sooner or later.

Today I Wrote A Whole Load of Bull...

Thanks to the heavy dose of Chinese medicine and some Paracetamol, now my nose stops running. But well, I started coughing now, due to the itchiness caused by some phlegm stuck in my throat. How annoying.

Well, going to Muar this Saturday. Speaking of which, I hadn't visit there for CNY (in fact I was sort of stuck in MMU for more than 5 weeks since CNY). I heard a lot of sh!t that's happening on my relatives. Yes a lot of sh!t.

I've always joked that if someone wrote a book about the things that happened in my dad's family, it's gonna be a bestseller (and maybe it might grab the Pulitzer).

Ah I don't give a damn about all those sh!t. I've been grateful that Dad & Mum hold on to their principles and didn't do anything that embarasses the family. Seems like I need more practice.

Oh well, let's hope this week isn't that bad. Hopefully my health improves so that I can arrange some plans on certain things.

Can't Sleep

Damn, a running nose is already enough to cause trouble while I sleep. I was half-awake when my nostrils were blocked, and I could have gone back to sleep again - if not for my neighbour's dog barkings and whinings.

My neighbour has two - stupid - dogs that will bark at anyone, including those people that they've seen for a few years. Everytime when I pass by that house (or just anyone), they will rush to the gate and starts barking. Those dogs never learn.

But I do not blame the dogs, because they are beasts and beasts have a hard time trying to understand humans. I'm actually frustrated about their master(s). Who in the world will put a dog (occasionally) at their backyard and let it yelp and bark and whine in the moments of twilight (5am) without attending to it? I don't know if they are paranoid or something to place their dog at the backyard to prevent robbers and thieves, but it is a bad idea if you let it awake your neighbours from their sleep.

Well I'm not against the banning against dog ownership in Malaysia (it's quite a nonsense if you ask me), but I'm against irresponsible dog owners, or irresponsible people who think they are "good" dog owners.

Argh, I don't know what to do now, since I lost my mood to sleep. My stomach is rumbling now, and maybe I'll get some hot chocalate, and then see what I can do.

Sick :(

Well, my worse nightmares have appeared in the form of influenza. I'm getting a hard time breathing, and my running nose ad constant sneezes keeps me away from my normal activities, my favourite food and the fan (damn it's freaking hot...)

I'm not the only one sick in the house. Bro's coughing, and both of us were were under Quarantine. We're having a hard time watching Dad, Mum & my younger sis getting their chances to eat nie food.

Oh, hope that I get well soon...